Alive
by AB24
Summary: Set between seasons 4 and five, Jack comes to Chloe when he needs her most. My first multichapter fic, please r&rChapter 4 is up
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Chloe was walking up the steps to her apartment around 9 PM, after a particularly long day at work. Darkness had fallen a few hours ago, and she was more than ready to pass out in bed, never mind her lack of a dinner. She wasn't hungry, anyway. In fact, hunger was something she hadn't felt in awhile.  
This had been her life for the last 4 months - wake up, go to work, go home, go to sleep. Incidentally, it had also been 4 months since she'd helped Jack fake his death. Maybe the events were related, maybe they weren't - it didn't really matter, since she couldn't change Jack's situation. At least that's what she told herself.

Either way, Jack was the last thing on her mind as she mindlessly unlocked her door and walked inside her 1 bedroom apartment, her place of residence for the last three years, to find it completely dark as she'd left it. She flipped up the main light switch on the wall beside the front door before a familiar hand violently grabbed her mouth shut from behind, terrifying her before a voice whispered, "Chloe, it's me, it's Jack."

She stopped resisting and he let go, leading her to turn and face the man who was supposed to be dead, the man who just scared the crap out of her."Jack? What the hell are you doing here? Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

"No, listen, I had to leave Nevada, but I didn't have time to call you, and...I didn't know where else to go," he replied,somewhere in his subconscious wondering how he must look to her. He was wearing the second of two outfits he owned, his hair was long and unwashed, and living on the street had given him a distinctly rougher look.

She didn't care. His eyes hadn't changed. "Are you safe? I mean, am I in danger now too?" she asked as he turned to nervously look out a window through its blinds.

"No, I don't think so. If I did, I wouldn't have come to you."

"Staring out the window like you're waiting for somebody to crash through it isn't exactly boosting my confidence, Jack," she replied, her heart still pounding from the fact that he was even there.

He turned, saw the worry on her face, and slowly left the window, walking past her her to a nearby couch.

Chloe sighed and followed him, opting for an opposing chair. "Tell me what happened, Jack."

His head resting in his hands, he wearily repied, "I don't want to talk about it."

"Well, I do, because if I'm going to help you, I need to know what I'm dealing with."

He finally raised his eyes to her. "Here's all you need to know: I can't stay in Nevada anymore, I need to start over again somewhere else, some place where I can have a life outside of my car."

She knew when Jack didn't want to talk about something, he ususally had very good reasons. She trusted him enough, more than enough. "Okay."

With that, she stood up and walked to a nearby desk that held all three of her laptops, sat down with her back facing Jack, and got to work.

He watched her in silence, stunned that she trusted him so easily. He shouldn't have been stunned - it was hardly the first time she'd demonstrated her loyalty, and they both knew it wouldn't be her last.

He was almost afraid to interrupt her, but he didn't have a choice. "Chloe, do you have any food I can eat?"

Her fingers stopped dead in their tracks as she closed her eyes and thought to herself, Chloe, you idiot...here's Jack, who lives out of a car, and you didn't even offer him any damn water...he probably thinks you're a jerk, and he's right. "Of course, Jack, whatever you want," she replied.

"Thanks," he muttered before leaving the couch to walk the few feet to her extremely minimalist kitchen.

He didn't find much. His friend apparantly lived off of pizza, as shown by the random empty boxes strewn about, and TV dinners, as shown by the fact that it was one of the few items she had stocked in her freezer. Her refrigerator contained only beverages. And he thought his diet was crappy.

Chloe had all three computers running at full speed as Jack scarfed down the best meal he'd had in weeks. Neither said a word to the other.

That is, until he had eaten to his content and then moved on to priority #2:  
"Chloe, do you mind if I take a shower?" he asked, from over her shoulder.

She looked away from the computers long enough to give him her best "duh" look.  
"Jack, do whatever you want to do. You don't have to ask my permission."

He nodded. "Just trying to show respect," he replied before walking away.

She shrugged and got back to work. She couldn't have been more emotionally confused than she was that night. 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Chloe listened to the soft sound of her shower and within seconds, her frantic fingers had fallen still from their task of creating another new identity for Jack Bauer.

Okay. So right now Jack's naked in your apartment. Get over it, she thought to herself as she returned to the task at hand. But her mind was going a mile a minute in a thousand different ways, and as much of a pro she was at multitasking, this was too much.

So she left her desk for a minute to make a pot of coffee, hoping it would focus her. She glanced at a clock; it was 11 at night. So much for crawling into bed as soon as she got home.

Coffee brewing, she then walked to her bedroom to try to find Jack some clothes. She knew she still had some of her ex-husbands clothes, but she wasn't sure which ones. Luckily, they were pure Jack - jeans, t-shirts, casual jackets. Who'd have thought they would have come in handy like this.

The shower was turned off, so Chloe took the stack of clothes in her arms and walked to her bathroom door. "Jack?"

"Yeah," he answered.

"Listen, I found you some clean clothes. I'll drop them by the door," she replied.

"No, come in," he said without hesitation.

She paused and opened the door, not knowing what to expect. She found a towel-clad Jack standing in front of the mirror over the sink, scissors in hand.

She set the clothes down on the floor and waited for him to say something.

He looked at her with an odd concern on his face before he held out his hand with the scissors and said quietly, "Cut my hair."

She immediatly got nervous. "Jack, I can't even cut my own hair."

"Neither can I, that's why I'm asking you," he repied with a slight smile.

She looked down at the scissors briefly and then caved. "Fine. But don't expect anything remotely good. Seriously, don't."

He grinned and placed the scissors in her hand. It's not like anything she could do could make it look worse.

Suddenly, Chloe found herself in an interesting position: standing behind a pretty damn near naked and seated Jack, and given the authority to snip off his massively overgrown hair. She knew her hands were shaking, but she tried her best to focus, then cut the first piece.

After that, it became much easier. She knew what she was doing. She was cutting away the lie that Jack had lived for the last 4 months, bringing back to him a small but significant part of his identity. He trusted her to do this. He trusted her enough to instinctively come to her when he needed help. He was so comfortable with his trust for her that he barely realized its existence. The only thing as natural he'd ever felt was his love for Teri. And he only understood it when she was gone.

"There," she smiled, putting down the scissors.

He stood up and and walked to the mirror, shocked to see someone resembling himself looking back at him.

"Now you're Jack again," she said, standing behind him.

He turned around and looked her square in the eye. "No. I'm not."

He then retrieved the clothes and left the room to put them on. Chloe stood in silence, realizing her mouth had again failed her. "Damn it," she muttered before heading back to her computers. 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

The next two hours flew by without mercy, and soon Jack had finished packing his green bag with his latest tools for survival. Chloe knew he'd be leaving soon, as evidenced by the fresh knot of anxiety in her stomach.

Who knew if she'd ever see him again. Who knew if he'd even live to see her again. Chloe knew that nobody could run forever, but if anyone could, though, it was Jack.

She shut off all of her computers and rose from her desk, not sure what to do next. Jack sat on the couch, looking over his new ID and freshly scrambled cell phone, clearly not wanting to leave.

She leaned against the opposing chair. "Are you sure you want to stay in California? I mean, if you weren't safe in Nevada..."

"I'll be fine, Chloe," he brushed off.

She nodded and turned to briefly leave the room. When she returned, she walked to the couch, took a seat next to him, and opened her right hand.

"It isn't much, but I hope it helps," she said, offering him $180 dollars of her own money.

"Chloe, I don't want your money," he refused, looking to the floor.

"Jack, let me do this," she protested.

"You've done enough," he replied. "More than enough. More than anyone ever has.  
That's enough for me."

"Well, it's not for me," she snapped before shoving the cash into a compartment inside his bag. "There. Deal with it."

He had to laugh. He tried not to, but the laughter broke through.

"What?"

He shook his head, giving her a sweet look. "You. Only you ould force someone to take your own money."

She rolled her eyes and then cast them to the wall to her right, away from Jack.

Silence ruled for a few moments until Jack broke it. "Have you talked to Kim lately?"

She nodded, turning her face back to him. "She left Chase. She says it's only a break, but she's already gotten her own apartment."

He winced, imagining the toll this must have taken on Kim, on top of the one caused by his "death". He would never get used to being so far away from her.  
"Audrey?"

She paused, the sound of Audrey's name ringing bitterly in her ears. "She moved to Washington. I haven't seen her since the day you faked your death."

He nodded. "It's been a year, I suppose they're both fine," he shrugged.

Her eyebrows lowered in puzzlement. "Jack, it's been four months."

He sighed and lowered his head into his tired, worn hands. This was a side of Jack Chloe had never seen, and as much as she craved to comfort him, she had no idea how. So she watched from her safe distance, behind the wall she had built for protection only to be held prisoner by.

"Chloe, I've been through ten different kinds if hell in my lifetime. I thought I was used to it, but this..."

This was the moment she could have grabbed on to. But she let it die without a whisper, and before she knew it, he had slung his bag over his shoulder and rose from the couch en route to the door.

It was then that Chloe finally sprung into action. She jumped from the couch and stopped him as he placed his hand on the doorknob. "Jack, wait."

They then found themselves standing face to face, the equals that they were. He waited for her express in words the concern on her face. "What is it?"

She pressed her lips together in frustration, feeling her anxiety manifest into an overwhelming feeling of heat from her neck up. He was waiting. "Jack," she finally sputtered out, "I...don't know how to do this."

"Do what?"

"This," she gestured, "say what I'm, you know, thinking. Or feeling, or whatever."

"Chloe, you don't have to say anything, I don't-"

"Yes, I do," she loudly interrupted.

He paused, having no clue what it was that she wanted to say. "Then just say it," he replied gently, his hand falling from the doorknob.

"I don't think I can. Seriously, my mind is completely blank, and I know all I'm going to do is ramble a bunch of stuff I'll replay over & over in my head as I think to myself what a loser I am, because-"

It was his turn to interrupt her. "Chloe."

She shut up, looked in his eyes from her lowered face and realized it was now or very possibly never. On a surge of tangled emotions, she closed the short distance between them in one move and threw her arms around his neck before kissing him with all she had.

It was a shock for both, but the good kind, of course. He returned her kiss, to her massive relief, and the moment dragged along at a feverishly pleasant pace. One kiss grew into many, until Jack came to his senses.

He pulled away, looking at the ceiling as she stared down into his chest. His hands lingered on her waist, while her arms tensely continued to grip his shoulders. "Don't do this to yourself," he whispered to her painfully.

She lifted her head and pulled his lips back to hers, but he let go of her altogether and turned his back to her.

"What's wrong?" she asked, hoping she didn't just destroy their relationship.

He turned and and replied in the deepest sincerity, "I will not allow you to let me hurt you. I won't."

"Jack..."

"No, Chloe, I'm serious. I've hurt enough of the people I care about, I'm not adding you. Because when I leave here, I have to be dead to you. I have to be."

"I'm a big girl, Jack, you don't have to protect me," she replied, annoyed.

"Yes I do."

It was as simple as that. Jack looked one last time into her eyes, which were now shimmering pools of anger, exhilaration, and confusion, and opened the door.

"Goodbye, Chloe," he firmly but quietly said. She refused to answer him, letting her eyes do the talking. The close of the door broke their gaze, and just like that, he was gone. Again.

She leaned her back against the door and slowly slid to the floor, feeling herself shift from such incredible emotions to utter numbness. I should cry, she thought to herself.

But she couldn't. Maybe she would tomorrow or the next day, but tonight, she could only absorb the feeling of his kiss, the satisfaction of mutual attraction. It was a memory she hoped would never fade. And she knew it wouldn't.

As for Jack, he turned on the ignition in his car and began his return to the dead. As wrong as he knew it was, the kiss had brought him back to life, if only for a moment. It could only be a moment, of course, but in that moment, both felt truly alive for the first time in a very long time. 


	4. Chapter 4

Alive chapter four

The rise of the early morning sun awoke Chloe from her deep sleep, her mind & body still exhausted from the night before.

Just what did happen the night before? It was all a blur to her as she stumbled out of bed, as usual unable to think until consuming her daily truckload of caffeine. Too tired to find her slippers, she walked barefoot to her kitchen to start her coffee pot. This was a routine she'd been stuck in for years. But something was very different about today.

She remembered what made it so different when she walked a few steps inside her bathroom only to be stopped dead in her tracks by what she saw lying on the floor. "My God," she whispered to herself out loud, realizing Jack Bauer's hair was still lying on the floor from when she cut it.

Then she remembered the kiss. She remembered every painfully short second of it.

Chloe had dealt with morning afters before, but this was in a class all by itself. There was no rule book on how to deal with the fact that she had just made out with a longtime interest who was supposed to be dead, which was hardly where the awkwardness began. She had to then go to work in the building where he had "died", and work with people who were still mourning him. It was then that she thought about Kim and Audrey and suddenly felt guilty. Why didn't he put one of them in her place, why didn't he choose his daughter or so-called lover to be his last remaining connection to his identity? They had been his life, not Chloe. What got her into this tediously secretive position?

Of course it was circumstance, starting that day at CTU when President Palmer had called Jack to warn him of the danger he was in. But Audrey was there, too. Still, Jack called on Chloe, Tony, and Michelle to help him survive. He allowed Audrey to think she'd lost two loves that day.

Chloe hadn't considered that angle until then. It wasn't a comforting thought, either. She realized how insensitive her actions the night before could be construed.

This was too much to think about now. She was still coming down from the high the kiss brought to her, and right now, regret was not something she would allow herself to consider.

But her way of dealing with such things was to buck up, get to work and drown it all in computer screens. So that's exactly what she did.

"Edgar, I need you to monitor satellite over highway marker 14 for the next two hours for me," Chloe barked from her station, eyes glued to her screen.

"I'm a little busy right now, Chloe, can't you do it yourself?" Edgar barked back, realizing the day's barking had commenced.

"No, Edgar, if I could, I wouldn't have asked you. I know better than to ask you to do something helpful," she seethed, still not acknowledging him.

Just then, Bill Buchanan approached her station, forcing her to look up for the first time in an hour. "Chloe, Audrey's flying in from DC in a bit. When she gets here I want you to bring her up to speed and get her started."

Her eyes nearly tumbled out of their sockets. "Started doing what?"

"She's going to be working here for awhile as DOD liaison. Here's everything you'll need," he replied, handing her a stack of documents.

"Sir, are you sure-"

"Do it, Chloe," he barked, walking away.

This must be karma, she thought to herself. I am a horrible person. Thanks, God, for pointing that out yet again.

When Audrey's thin outline became visible from her work station, Chloe briefly considered hiding under her desk before she remembered that she wasn't a coward. Sometimes, though, she wanted to be.

But instead she took a deep breath and stood from her desk, walking to meet Ms. Raines a few yards away. "Audrey," she smiled, wondering if smiling was too much. Then she told herself to stop thinking.

"Chloe," Audrey smiled back, reaching out her right hand. "Good to see you."

Chloe calmly shook her hand. "You too. How's your father?"

"He's great, thank you," she replied. "How are you?"

"I'm fine," she shrugged. "Follow me, I'll show you to your station."

Audrey nodded and walked behind her, taking in her familiar surroundings. At first she had refused the job, but her father had convinced her that it would be a good exercise in closure. It didn't stop her from trembling when she first entered the building, or now from gazing down the corridor that led to the medical wing where Paul had died, which also led to sector C where Jack had "died". The fact that she could even walk past reflected her progress on the road to acceptance.

"Here you go," Chloe said, handing her a stack of papers. "I've got you all set up, all you need to do is pick a password."

Audrey sat down behind her new station and continued to gaze forward. "Thank you, Chloe."

Chloe paused, telling herself to just walk away. She didn't. "Are you okay?"

Audrey's eyes snapped back into focus. "Yeah, I'm fine," she replied. "It's just...this place, you know."

Chloe nodded. "I'm surprised you agreed to this. I mean, every day coming to work in the place that both your husband and Jack died..."

Audrey looked away, prompting Chloe to kick herself. "I'm sorry. You don't need me to remind you of that."

"It's okay, Chloe. I know it's not easy for you either. But Jack valued you a lot, he told me himself. He wouldn't want either of us to let this hold us back," Audrey replied. "That's what I'm telling myself, anyway."

He told Audrey herself? Told her what?? Chloe's mind screamed. "Yeah...listen, I've gotta get back to work. Call if you need anything," she expertly segued into a quick escape.

Audrey nodded. "Thanks."

Just as Chloe was settled safely behind her screens, her cell phone rang. Without averting her eyes, she grabbed & flipped open the phone. "Hello."

"Chloe, it's me. Can you talk?"

She nearly dropped her phone at he sound of Jack's voice. "What the hell are you - my God, I'm at CTU, Jack," she whispered. "Hold on, let me go somewhere safe."

"Edgar, cover for me," she shouted before heading to the parking garage. She walked - nay, ran - until she reached her car.

"What's wrong?" she asked as soon as she closed her car door.

"Nothing, nothing happened. I'm fine," he replied. "That's not why I'm calling."

Chloe stayed silent, knowing exactly why he was calling.

"After I left last night I just..."

"Jack, you don't have to do this. Please, spare us both," she interrupted.

"Let me finish," he said, somewhat annoyed. "I wanted to thank you."

She stared ahead, those being the last words she expected him to say.

"I shouldn't have left the way I did. It was just a shock, and I knew nothing could come of it in the long run, so I took the safe way out. But the truth is, Chloe, that I had forgotten what it felt like to be close to someone, and it felt so good that it terrified me."

They both took deep breaths, absorbing his words.

"I honestly thought it had been a year," he continued. "These four months have been crippling in every way. I was close to giving up for good a few days ago. And trust me, I don't like admitting that."

"Jack, what does this mean?" she asked, craving a bottom line.

"I'm still dead. That isn't going to change, we both know it. I could be selfish and take advantage of your feelings, but I care about you too much to let you waste your time and thoughts on me. I'm not asking you to pretend last night didn't happen, because it did, and I needed it to happen. But it ends there. There's no other choice."

Tears swelled behind her eyes despite her best efforts to suppress them. "I know. Jack, please don't let this ruin us," she pleaded anxiously.

"It won't. I promise," he assured her. "Look, I know you have you get back to work. I just needed you to understand why I left the way I did."

"Thank you," she replied. "I've been a mess all day."

He winced. "Please don't spend another second thinking about me. Please, for me, don't."

"I'll try," she managed.

"Good. By the way, the brakes on my car gave out a few hours ago. It took 180 dollars to repair them."

She laughed out loud, its unexpectedness tempering her sadness. "See, you shouldn't have given me crap about that."

He smiled. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. You know you are."

"Take care," he added before hanging up.

She closed her phone and found the smile lingering on her face. She couldn't just stop thinking about him, despite what he asked of her. But she knew he was right. Another time, they may have had a shot. But this wasn't it.

Still, they managed to give the other exactly what they needed. For Jack, she gave him renewed motivation to pursue a real, emotion-filled, personally fulfilling life. 10 days later, Jack met a woman named Diane.

For Chloe, he gave her the satisfaction of a long held dream come true, without which the nagging question of "what if?" would have continued to dominate her thoughts, closing her to new possibilities. It would still take time, but Chloe now felt able to accept the idea of moving on.

They had been born anew by each other, in the purest of ways. 


End file.
